Before I got my job, I didn't spend a whole lot of time thinking about money. I was so broke, I couldn't even afford to think about money.
That's pretty broke.
Through a series of showers, holidays, and a few lucky breaks (and to be honest, a little help from my dad) I was able to take care of mine and Gemma's needs. Special treats were far and few between. Occasionally, I would be able to pick up a cheap sleeper from the clearance section at Target or a bite off of the dollar menu, but mostly, I spent nothing.
Surprisingly, I was fine with that. I got used to not spending money, so it wasn't really an issue, is just...was.
Does that make sense?
And then I got my job.
Luckily. I needed the job. I needed to be working. I wanted a job and I wanted to be working.
but
All of a sudden, money has become an issue again.
Save, spend, pay-off...There is a new huge stressor in my life.
I am challenged with decisions regarding what to pay and when (when, the money simply wasn't there before.)
I am challenged with deciding what thing that I need I should buy first (when, strangely enough, I didn't have those needs before.)
I am challenged with controlling Starbucks, and online shopping, and convenience food habits (when I had no bad money habits before.)
I will be honest in saying I am not good with money. I have a bit of debt, some of which I have no idea where it came from. I have no savings at all. I really like stuff.
But once again, motherhood is forcing me to want better for myself, to do better for myself. I want to get this money stuff straight, and will.
But for now, thinking about it makes my head hurt.
And baby sunglasses are totally a need right?
Ay yi yi!
What's your financial philosophy? And do you think I am totally tacky for discussing money here?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I relate totally to what you are saying. Not having a job is tough and I can't even remember the last time I bought anything for myself outside of food. Pre-pregnancy, I was pretty much a shopaholic. I miss those days but I can't complain because I am working on getting back to a decent size before going on a shopping spree.
ReplyDeleteRight now, my philosophy is to save, save, save. I have been keen to using coupons every time I go grocery shopping. I feel like if I hadn't been in the tight situation I am in now, I wouldn't have learned how to spend as wisely as I do now. I mean, I was thrifty before but now I am super duper thrifty. I also learned not to spend carelessly because that could money going toward diapers and wipes.
It is SOOOO hard though not to buy every little dress at target for Zakiah. They are TOO adorable this season! Good thing my dad doesn't mind spoiling Zakiah a little bit. :)
But I think it is good that you made this post and pointed out your financial situation and struggles. It will show you later how much you have grown from this point.
And, yes, baby sunglasses are totally a "need"...hehe! They are so cute! Too bad Z doesn't like anything on her face...haha.