Sunday, January 31, 2010

Great Deal!

So I have been eyeing baby leggings for a while but I am wayyy too cheap thrifty to plop down $12 for something that I am not sure I will really use. I mean they definitely look cute, and I can see the practical uses, but one thing I have learned in my 5 months as a mama is that you never know what works or not until you try it.

Luckily, I got an email today from Sydney So Sweet, the same website that I ordered bows from not too long ago, with a great offer of 6 pairs of baby leggings for $10! Making this deal even sweeter, you can get an additional 15% off of your entire order by using the code valentine15.

I ordered  6 pairs and with shipping it came to only $11.75, even less than one pair of some of the pairs I have seen.

They have a lot of bright colors that should be awesome for spring. Enjoy!

Friday, January 29, 2010

So, I have been slacking lately, mostly because I have been trying to tie up loose ends before my new job starts. I have interviewed and found a sitter for Gemma AND a potential for backup, gotten the rest of my law school applications together, shopped for some work clothes, and other odds and ends. I can not believe that my life is going to be so drastically different in a week or so. I have been so used to staying at home I don't know how I am going to feel. I don't even want to think about what it is going to be like to be separated from Gems, at least not yet!

I digress, but what I am meaning to get out (eventually I promise!) is that if you notice on the sidebar of this blog there is a box that says "Ask Me Anything" and it is really for just that. If you are interested, uou can ask me any question you want, anonymously if you choose! I will probably answer all questions. Unless they are really inappropriate or offensive of course. But I trust y'all!

So, ask away! And you can read the answers to your questions here  and if I get enough I will be sure to dedicate a post to them.

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Happy 5 Months Gemma

Happy 5 months my dear sweet Gemma! I am so glad I got to spend the day with you (as always!)

January has been the first month with you that I can truly say feels like it flew by. Being your mama really became so much easier this month. You and I have synced together into a routine that is cozy and familiar to us both.

You are still my little night owl. I am not sure if I like it or not but it seems to be working, and that is enough for me. Well, that it works and that you are happy is enough for me. I have become a woman who is easy to please. So bedtime is midnight or so and we had been sleeping until 11, or even later, but that doesn't make me happy so I am slowly trying to make wake up time a little earlier. You sleep well but from time to time I wake you up from moving around in my our bed. I act like I hate it but secretly I feel so comfy with you beside just feels right. Maybe not for forever, but this month, it worked.

I never replaced your swing seat so you didn't play with that at all this month. You do really seem to like your Excersaucer. You have a love/hate relationship with the book toy. It seems to be your favorite but you get MAD when you can't seem to grab it just right. You also hang out on your play mat or a blanket on the floor. You scoot yourself around a lot and end up 90 degrees from the way I laid you down in the first place. You roll a lot but usually not all the way over. The arm that you need to put over your head to make it the rest of the way over is usually preoccupied as you grasp some toy or shove your fist in your mouth. Deep down, I think you can do it but that you just don't want to. Doesn't every mama think that?

When I weighed you on the home scale (by holding you and subtracting my weight) it said that you weighed 14 lbs and 2 oz and that doesn't seem too far off. We have actually been nursing more than we did last month but your diet is still predominately formula. You haven't tried any solids yet, mostly because your mama is a chicken.

You are wearing 3-6 month sleepers, and 0-3 and 3-6 months clothes. You are surprisingly tall, so your 0-3 month pants are quickly becoming high waters. Poor thing.  You are still fitting in to size 2 diapers pretty well.

I think that your hair loss has finally stopped and I your hair is growing slowly but surely. The Mohawk you had at birth is coming back...not nearly as cool but it is there.

Your eyes are still...strange. They look brown in the middle but green from certain angles and then it seems like they are still ringed in blue. So maybe they are still changing? Or maybe they will be hazel?  Isn't that what people usually call eyes where the color is not easily distinguished?

I have noticed recently that you are definitely the observant type. You take in a situation and absorb the possibilities before you react. Your granddaddy and I laugh at you as you study something because you can really see how deeply in thought you are. I wonder if this is a trait that you will continue to have as you get older and I look forward to finding out. Since the day you were born I have noticed how alert you are and I really think you just look out on the world and drink it in.

You have also proven yourself to be such a happy baby. Everybody who meets you comments on what a happy baby you are. Lots of things make you laugh. It makes my heart melt to think that sometimes all I have to do is look at you and you brighten up. It makes me want to stare at you all day, everyday.

As I type this you are laid across my belly sleeping and I am trying to think of what else I don't want to let myself forget. I am thinking of little things, like how much you like to play with your rings and how you seem to have started to like music more this month but really what I really want to remember is how much I love you, and how much you love me, and how much we totally love each other.

I am so blessed to be your mama.

I love you forever and always,


Here are a few more pictures from your monthly photo shoot (which I still need help with, any suggestions?)

With a Bow

Without a Bow

Arial View



Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Secret Life of the American Teenager


That is the number of times they used the word sex in last night's episode of the show, The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

I am no prude or anything, but really, 45 times? In an hour long show? Once you subtract commercials from the hour long air time, the word sex was used about every 60 sexonds seconds (oops!)

Not only is the word sex used WAY too frequently, it is also used awkwardly.


A. Hi. How are you today?
B. I'm good, just thinking about sex.
A. Sex? Why are you thinking about sex today? You should be thinking about our test today not sex.
B. How can I focus on my test when I keep thinking of having sex. Having sex with you.
*Awkward pause made more awkward by bad acting*
A. You only want me for sex. Go take your test and try to think about something besides sex. Because sex is fun but sex isn't a future. You saw what happened when Amy had sex. She had sex and now she has a baby. Do you still want to have sex, even though having sex means you might have a baby from having sex?

That actually might be less awkwardly written. In fact, if this new job doesn't work out, I have a back up plan :)

As I digress, you are probably wondering why on EARTH I would watch a television show I can't stand.

I found out I was pregnant in a grocery store bathroom on January 4th of last year. When I came home I was in complete shock. I brushed past my dad,  went upstairs to my room, turned the television on and there it was...

The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

I didn't watch intently. I am pretty sure if I had paid much attention I would have ended up turning the channel, but it provided the background noise while I digested the most life changing news I had ever gotten. I had heard of the show before and I had a general idea of what it was about and I think that maybe in some small way I was comforted by this fictional character who I had something in common with now.

I was pregnant.

I was shocked. I mean, just a few days before I had been enjoying the last few days of winter break and I saw only what was right there in front of me. All of a sudden I was confronted with the future I would have had and the future I would have and my mind just couldn't wrap itself around either.

I was scared.

Later that day I told a few friends and had a couple of "really?", "yes, really" conversations as I paced back and forth in a parking lot a few blocks away from my house. Learning of a pregnancy is supposed to be a joyous occasion, a celebration of life, a proclamation of the love that two people share. Instead of being one of the best days of my life it was one of the hardest.

One of the hardest days of my life led me into one of the hardest months. I went back to school and started the new semester and kept my "news" a secret from my family. I went back and forth while I tried to decide what to do with it and wondered how something so stupid, and simple, and meaningless, had led me to...


I was pregnant.

My life was going to be different now.

Just like hers.

One year later, as I lay 5 pounds heavier and 10 times wiser beside the best thing in my life, part of me still feels sad for me in that moment and in that month, when I was so unbelievably scared and confused and alone and part of me is mad at me in that moment, at my selfishness and the cigarettes I smoked and at the things I considered.

And on Monday nights, when that silly show comes on, a show about a girl who I pretty much have NOTHING in common with...

I feel like I am with an old friend. Maybe not a close friend, certainly not a best friend, but still a friend... who was there when I needed the friend with the most.

And that is why I watch The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

Sunday, January 24, 2010


I went to the grocery store with my dad yesterday.

 As usual, he was pushing Gemma in her stroller while I pushed the cart full of groceries (proud Granddaddy.)

While we were waiting in line, he decided that he would take Gemma and walk to the butcher, which is about a block away. I said "really?", he said "really." I said "okay, I guess." and off they went.

About a million years later (25 minutes), I finally made it through the line and got my groceries packed into my car and off to the butcher I went.

They weren't there. She wasn't there. MY BABY WAS NOT THERE.

I asked, "Have you seen (insert my dad's name)?".

She said, "They just left."

My heart jumped out of my chest. My eyes welled with tears. I got back in my car.

How dare he.

I assumed he had just walked the extra 3 blocks from the butcher to my house, but still.

I was so mad. I had never not known exactly where my baby was and I hated it...

Friday, January 22, 2010

Big News!

I got a job!

I am excited.

And nervous.

But excited!

More details to come :)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Many moons ago, when I was still pregnant,  (well 5 or 6 moons ago) I swore to myself that I would take in every memory of Gemma in her babyhood and that I would keep scrupulous record of every milestone and achievement that she met. 

Since she was born, I am realizing it isn't quite as easy as I had thought. Not only because life with a young baby is a strange combination of hectic and lazy, but also because these milestones aren't quite as cut and dry as one might think.

At some point in the past month or so (maybe longer?) Gemma began to laugh.

I didn't realize it at first. I dismissed it, saying that she was "trying" to laugh. At some point she went from trying to doing and I don't know when it happened. Officially that is.

 According to her baby calendar, it happened December 25th but mostly I just put that down because...well, you have to use the Baby's First Laugh sticker somewhere, right?

I wanted to post tonight to remind myself of some of the very first things that Gemma finds hilarious.

As the not-so-great-but-working-on-it-even-if-it-is-not-really-possible keeper of all memories and milestones,  I promise, all of these are true.

Things that crack Gemma up:
  • Peek-a-Boo
  • Toe Kisses
  • Strange Teeth Sucking Noise
  • Yanking Mama's Hair
  • Patty Cake
  • Belly Rubs by Someone's Head
  • Tickles...Anywhere
  • Random, Unexpected Eye Contact
  • Certain Toys
  • Bella and O.J. (my Dad's Dogs)
I look forward to seeing this list grow.

Even if I do forget to write it all down.

Monday, January 18, 2010


On Friday, I bought a high chair for Gemma.

In the past week or so I have also purchased baby cereal (oatmeal), a food steamer, bowls and spoons, a sippy cup, and one of these cool things that allow baby to teethe on a piece of fruit or vegetable.

I have found baby food recipes, and done endless searches on when and how to introduce solids to baby.

I have decided what her first food would be and then changed my mind and then changed it back again.

I have gone back and forth on whether or not she is ready, and to be honest...

I don't know.

According to pushy (well-meaning) family members I am absolutely starving her but to be honest, I know it can wait. I think  that it should wait. Even with all of the research (well, googling) in the world, I think I am going to have to follow my mommy instinct on this one. I have a feeling she is going to be alright whether we start now or wait a little later but deep down I just don't feel like either one of us is...


So for now...we wait.

In the meantime, all of this baby stuff makes for a pretty cute photo opp.




P.S. I am so OVER pink and brown. I swore that the high chair I bought would not be pink and brown but I found this high chair for only $40, and since it is good quality, the deal was to hard to pass up. Ay yi yi!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Granny Panties

I bought a pack of Granny panties today.

Yes, a pack.

My underwear came in pack.

Size 5, Joe Boxer, Cotton Hipster Panties, purchased at my local K-Mart.

F.Y.I. Hipster is a total misnomer unless it is implying that they are total old lady drawers that cover half of your thigh.

Sometimes motherhood is totally gross.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Sick Day


Gemma and I both have little colds...runny noses and all of that fun stuff. We spent the day trying to feel better and attempting to get some sleep. In between rounds of saline drops and the snot sucker (which Gemma HATES, by the way) I was able to get ALL of the pictures from my camera uploaded and backed up. Now all I need to do is print some hard copies and I will REALLY feel accomplished.

Here is a picture of Gemma today:

She looks pretty cheery for a sick person if I do say so myself! Unfortunately her cheer comes and goes, sometimes she is her usual smiley self and other times she is a bit of a bear. Poor thing. I can't imagine what it feels like to be sick as a baby!

It was amazing to me, as I was going through her pictures today, what a difference four months makes. Here is one of  her very first "smiles" at around two weeks old.

She looks very much the same but very different too. One of the many paradoxes of babyhood I suppose.

I saw a lot of really sweet pictures that I never shared with y'all, so I guess that is something to look forward to in the near future!

Until then, I am off to bed. Here is hoping Gemma feels better in the morning.

(And me too please!)

Good night!

Friday, January 8, 2010

4 Month Well Baby Visit

Gemma's poor thigh and her "rad" 90's Band-Aid :)

Today was Gemma's 4 month well baby visit. I have been dreading this appointment for weeks. Maybe even longer as I was pretty anxious about it from the moment it was scheduled after her 2 month well baby visit. I HATE the vaccines. HATE them. I really do not like to use the word hate (it is just so...negative), but if ever it were to have an applicable use it to describe the way I feel when I see my poor precious baby being assaulted with needles.

FOUR needles.

I feel worse because I can't warn her, I can't prepare her, I can't explain that it is a choice that I am making for her own good. The most I can do is cuddle her and kiss her afterwards but somehow that just doesn't seem like enough.

I know that there is a lot of debate surrounding vaccinations and to be honest, the research on both sides is overwhelming to me. I feel like there is so much research available but it is all so...biased. I have read literature on different stances but ultimately I have decided that I will trust the advice of my pediatrician who I am sure has read so much more about vaccinations that she has been trained to better understand and she has also seen lots of babies who have been vaccinated. Her pediatrician sugests vaccinating on the "normal" schedule, as recommened by the AAP.

It still sucks. So much.

She cried immediately after, for 10 minutes or so. Then she passed out. But not for long. Pretty soon she was up, herself and flashing little baby smiles like this:

I thought we were out of the woods. I thought she was going to be fine.

And then...

She started screaming. Bloody murder. Out of nowhere. For 15 minutes. Of course, it wasn't just a regular 15 minutes, it was a "my baby is hurting and there is nothing I can do about it" 15 minutes. Believe me, those are the worst.

She eventually fell asleep and that is what she is doing now.

They also measured and weighed Gemma today. She is now 25.2" long (75th percentile) and 13 pounds and 2 ounces (25th percentile). The doctor seems comfortable with her weight and says she is pretty much on track.

I am happy to see her growing.

 She has gained over half of a pound in just a few short weeks!

That nap she is taking looks pretty good, I think I am off to snuggle with my little string bean!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Friday, October 5th 2012

So...I am a little late in getting started with my New Year's resolution. With all of the post holiday clean up, law school application business, and just general life with a four month old DIVA (more formally known as Chicken Nugget), it has taken me a while to "prepare" for my New Year's resolution.

Way back, when I was still pregnant with Gemma, I decided that I would try to do a 101 in 1001 Challenge, which is exactly what it sounds like (maybe). Basically, you make a list of 101 things that you would like to accomplish in 1001 days, you pick a day and you are off. Not so surprisingly, when the reality of raising a new baby hit the challenge was all but forgotten.

Now that things are really starting to settle down,I have decided that I will try again, starting today, Friday, January 8th, 2010, and the 1001 day challenge will be over on Friday, October 5th, 2010.

I have decided to share the goals that I have set forth for this challenge with you, and all of those participating in the Show Us How You Live blog hop at Kelly's Korner.

My goals are a mixture of easily attainable and kind of far out there, serious and silly, important and trivial...Many have changed since I made the original list and many have stayed the same.

I really think I will have fun doing it :)

With out further ado ;)

My Goals for 101 in 1001 Challenge

  1. 5 different religious services (0/5)
  2. A session with a fortune teller.   
  3. An audition for a game show.  
  4. A renaissance fair.
  5. The filming of a TV show or movie.  
  6. A a wine tasting.
  7. (And participate in!)a charity run or walk.
  8. A book signing.   
  9. A live performance of a musical.
  10. A professional sporting event and tailgate.
  11. A tea party. 
  12. A comedy show.
  13. A convention or conference.
  14. A wedding.    Buy: 
  15. A new mattress.
  16. A DSLR camera.
  17. Something off of Etsy.
  18. A piece of "art" that I love and hang it in my room. 
  19. A  piece of jewelery that I love and ALWAYS wear it.
  20. A watch...and wear it.
  21. A formal dress in an appropriate setting.
  22. A dress in each color of the rainbow (0/7).
  23. A perfume I love and make it my "signature scent". Create:
  24. Take a picture for every day of the challenge and post them in a blog as timely as possible.
  25. Design a new blog layout.
  26. Learn how to use a sewing machine.
  27. Sew a blanket and a stuffed animal for Gemma.
  28. Take/have a picture taken of myself that I love.
  29. Design a calendar and give it to all family members as a Christmas present.
  30. A "birthday calendar" including all of the special people in my life. Send each persona birthday card.
  31. Learn how to make hair bows.
  32. Learn how to take great pictures with my not so great camera.
  33. And implement a recycling system for home.
  34. An inspiration board.
  35. Something special with all saved greeting cards.
  36. A "signature" cupcake recipe.
  37. 10 themed playlists/mixed CD’s (old school style) that make me smile. (0/10)
  38. A book of favorite recipes.
  39. Make something old and battered, beautiful and functional again.
  40. A budget AND stick to it for at least 3 months. (0/3) Do:
  41. Lose 25 Pounds (0/25)
  42. Watch 26 movies I've never seen starting with each letter of the Alphabet, that don’t also count for other movie related goals in the challenge. (0/26).
  43. Send 35 cards. (0/35)
  44. Do 10 touristy things that I have never done before in my hometown. (0/10)
  45. Visit 10 states other than my own. (0/10)
  46. Visit another country
  47. Get fully dressed(hair, make up, clothes) every day for a month. (0/31)
  48. Get a Duggar family postcard.
  49. Read 75 books 35 of which come from either Rory’s Book Club or Time’s All-TIME Novels.(0/75) (0/35)
  50. Watch 10 foreign films.(0/10) 
  51. Wake up at 7 a.m.everyday for a month (0/31).
  52. Stand in 2 states at once and take a cheesy picture.
  53. Celebrate 25 birthdays, not including my own (0/25).
  54. Learn to french braid.
  55. Read the newspaper every day for a month (0/31)
  56. Print pictures that I want hard copies of within a month of beginning the challenge and at least every six months after that. (0/1) & (0/5) 
  57. Sell something on EBay.
  58. Spend an entire day in bed (for no reason).
  59. Go on a boat ride.
  60. Donate hair to locks of love. 
  61. Learn to play chess.
  62. Go camping.
  63. Ride an elephant,camel, or horse.
  64. Either party at Mardi Gras OR in Las Vegas.
  65. Get a bikini wax.
  66. Submit a postcard to Post Secret.
  67. Milk a cow.
  68. Watch all of the movies on the American Film Institutes "100 Greatest Love Stories of All Time" List.(0/100)
  69. Teach a class.
  70. Avoid my reflection for an entire week.(0/7)
  71. Ask a man out on a date.
  72. Win something I earned...and something I didn't. (0/2)
  73. Ride in an airplane.
  74. Volunteer 101 hours.(0/101)
  75. Play tennis.
  76. Drive 100+ miles for one trip.
  77. Take a non academic class.
  78. See a drive in movie with someone who has never been to one before.
  79. Visit NYC.
  80. Plant something.
  81. Learn to meditate and make it a daily habit for at least 6 weeks (0/6).
  82. Join a club.
  83. Keep fingernails and toenails painted for a month.(0/31)
  84. Meet a "celebrity".
  85. Get a facial. Eat:
  86. Go vegetarian for a month (0/31).
  87. Keep a food journal for a month (0/31).
  88. Eat or drink 25 things I have never tried before. (0/25)
  89. Drink water only for 50 days (0-50).
  90. Try 15 new restaurants. (0/15)
  91. Try a new recipe once a week for a year. (0/52)
  92. Try caviar.
  93. At White Castle.
  94. Avoid fast food for 3 months (0/3).
  95. Try 5 new cocktails(0/5). 
  96. Try a completely new cuisine. The BIG Ones:
  97.   Get a place of my own (with Gemma of course!)
  98. Define a faith system that I am comfortable with.
  99. Fall in Love.         
  100. Get a job with benefits.           
  101. Pay off my credit card debt.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Gemma the Night Owl

For what seems like forever, but has actually only been about 19 weeks (I had to calculate how many weeks old she is, oh my!), Gemma has been somewhat of a night owl. There have been permutations and fluctuations of her bedtime but really the earliest consistent bedtime she has ever had was eleven. For a while now, it has been pushed back to midnight, even later if she is having a cranky night.

It doesn't make sense at all to me, why she stays up so late. The kid is literally in and out of sleep from about seven or eight on but she doesn't finally conk out until midnight. Every night.

The only reasons it bother me at all are that I do wish I could have a little unwinding time for myself that wasn't in the wee hours of the morning. Also, because she stays up so late her wake up time is eleven (a.m.), and that tends to be a huge pain when it comes to scheduled things such as doctors appointments and play groups. We miss out because Gemma (more honestly, Gemma and I) are sleeping the morning away.

I know I shouldn't really be complaining. She isn't sleeping through the night exactly but she is sleeping for about 7 or 8 hours and often another 2-4 hours at a time. That is completely manageable for me.

Maybe there is just too much going on at night? Or she adjusted herself to my night owl schedule in-utero?

Or maybe she is afraid of missing something.

Just like her mama...

Monday, January 4, 2010

So Far

2010 is kicking my ass.

It has been a steady stream of cleaning, cooking, writing, fixing, sending, calling, hoping, trying.

I thought I completely bombed my LSAT but I didn't. I didn't do as well as I could have or should have but I did better than I thought. Well enough that I may even be able to get in to one of the schools I am interested in. I didn't think it was happening so I haven't really been preparing so now I am trying to get it all together in about a month.

Speaking of which, anyone have any tips/tricks/suggestions for a personal statement? I am STUCK. And nervous which only makes me feel stuck-ier. I need to make sure I don't use words like stuck-ier in my personal statement, I do know that much ;)

Gemma is good. Keeping me busy but not as busy as she did before which I am grateful for. She drools buckets.

(Obviously, a Christmas picture.  I'm too lazy to upload anything recent. Notice the shine-y drool chin.)

I have also recently determined that Gemma is part cat. Or maybe it is part tiger. I am not completely sure, but something in the cat family. Something vicious in the cat family.

When I hold her face close to mine she makes this humming (purring!) noise and then lunges for my face with her mouth wide open. I am not exactly sure what the objective is, but I do know that it involves shoving as much of my face into her mouth as possible while yanking fistfuls of my hair. Fun.

Gemma has also began licking her fist and rubbing her face with it.  Like a cat cleaning itself. It's cute. Strange...but definitely cute.

She is such a silly, playful thing. A demanding diva at times but she is also a goofy little ball of fun.

My sweet, sweet Gemma Bean :)