Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Secret Life of the American Teenager


That is the number of times they used the word sex in last night's episode of the show, The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

I am no prude or anything, but really, 45 times? In an hour long show? Once you subtract commercials from the hour long air time, the word sex was used about every 60 sexonds seconds (oops!)

Not only is the word sex used WAY too frequently, it is also used awkwardly.


A. Hi. How are you today?
B. I'm good, just thinking about sex.
A. Sex? Why are you thinking about sex today? You should be thinking about our test today not sex.
B. How can I focus on my test when I keep thinking of having sex. Having sex with you.
*Awkward pause made more awkward by bad acting*
A. You only want me for sex. Go take your test and try to think about something besides sex. Because sex is fun but sex isn't a future. You saw what happened when Amy had sex. She had sex and now she has a baby. Do you still want to have sex, even though having sex means you might have a baby from having sex?

That actually might be less awkwardly written. In fact, if this new job doesn't work out, I have a back up plan :)

As I digress, you are probably wondering why on EARTH I would watch a television show I can't stand.

I found out I was pregnant in a grocery store bathroom on January 4th of last year. When I came home I was in complete shock. I brushed past my dad,  went upstairs to my room, turned the television on and there it was...

The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

I didn't watch intently. I am pretty sure if I had paid much attention I would have ended up turning the channel, but it provided the background noise while I digested the most life changing news I had ever gotten. I had heard of the show before and I had a general idea of what it was about and I think that maybe in some small way I was comforted by this fictional character who I had something in common with now.

I was pregnant.

I was shocked. I mean, just a few days before I had been enjoying the last few days of winter break and I saw only what was right there in front of me. All of a sudden I was confronted with the future I would have had and the future I would have and my mind just couldn't wrap itself around either.

I was scared.

Later that day I told a few friends and had a couple of "really?", "yes, really" conversations as I paced back and forth in a parking lot a few blocks away from my house. Learning of a pregnancy is supposed to be a joyous occasion, a celebration of life, a proclamation of the love that two people share. Instead of being one of the best days of my life it was one of the hardest.

One of the hardest days of my life led me into one of the hardest months. I went back to school and started the new semester and kept my "news" a secret from my family. I went back and forth while I tried to decide what to do with it and wondered how something so stupid, and simple, and meaningless, had led me to...


I was pregnant.

My life was going to be different now.

Just like hers.

One year later, as I lay 5 pounds heavier and 10 times wiser beside the best thing in my life, part of me still feels sad for me in that moment and in that month, when I was so unbelievably scared and confused and alone and part of me is mad at me in that moment, at my selfishness and the cigarettes I smoked and at the things I considered.

And on Monday nights, when that silly show comes on, a show about a girl who I pretty much have NOTHING in common with...

I feel like I am with an old friend. Maybe not a close friend, certainly not a best friend, but still a friend... who was there when I needed the friend with the most.

And that is why I watch The Secret Life of the American Teenager.


  1. hahahahhahahah. I LOVE THIS! It is so incredibly true (and funny and touching!) and it puts into words what I have been struggling with about Secret Life EXACTLY! The awkward use of the word 'sex' really gets me- why can't they use more NORMAL words for teenagers like "bang" or "do it" or, god forbid, 'FUCK!'

  2. haha. I was thinking not only is it awkward how they say sex all the time, but that on mondays episode, it was all about the "m" word. "just say me" god. that was a bad episode. and i think its funny that the preachers daughter, the most christian girl in the whole show is the one that talks about sex and all things realted more than anyone else on the show!!