I Totally Might Get Fired...

Already?

Yes, already. My foray into working motherhood may be over as quickly as it started.

Damn snow.

I work evenings (as I have mentioned) so by the time I realized that I was not going to be able to make it in to work because of the bad weather all of the bosses of the facility had gone home. I had known earlier in the day that I would not be able to drive in myself because our roads are literally still covered in ice that is 2 inches thick, so I had arranged to have my dad (yes, I am a baby) come pick me up for work but he ended up being super late because of a bunch of accidents on the highway so I tried to call in and Lord knows who I even talked to...

Plus, we are supposed to get another 10-20 inches of snow tomorrow so I probably won't be able to make it in then either. I am kind of nervous that they are going to get super mad at me but really, can I be expected to drive in that?

This is my first job in a long time and I don't want to mess it up. More importantly thought, I wouldn't wanna do anything to mess HER up.

Maybe that isn't the best representation of her preciousness. Let me try again.

                                                 

She is totally worth more than some silly job. I just really hope I can keep both.

Blizzard of 2010

We got a whole lotta snow!

First Day

Thursday was my first day as a working mother.

I think I started getting ready four hours before my shift. Me. The girl who wears jeans when she wants to look good (in my defense, that has only been since mid-pregnancy).

I kept packing her diaper bag and then remembering something else I should be sure to add. I tried on one black shirt and then swapped it for another black shirt. Gemma must have sensed my anxiety because she was FUSSY. In between getting both of us together I would stop for 20 minutes at a time to soothe her, change her, feed her, or whatever and literally minutes later she was crying again.

Grr...

Dropping Gems off was difficult, but to be honest, not impossible. I really have a lot of faith in the babysitter and I feel like she is safe there. It is just sort of a gut feeling that she will take care of her well. Of course, I miss that I am not able to be with her but I know that I have to work.

For both of us.

Work itself was okay. Boring. I think I will wait to decide how I feel about it until I am more settled in and I know what the job will be like. I think it is hard to tell right now, especially as the position is newly created.

After work, I went straight to the sitter to pick her up (of course!). When I walked in she was fast asleep in the babysitter's grandma's arms. I swear, there is something special about grandma's and babies, even when it isn't their grandma. Apparently Gemma had fussed quite a bit and babysitter's grandma diagnosed teething. I felt terrible that she was so fussy. Somehow responsible. I really hope she is more cheerful next time but to be honest, I am not holding my breath!

Does anyone have any advice for helping a young baby get used to a sitter? I have no idea how to help, I can't exactly explain the situation to her. Any help is appreciated!

Last Day

Today, was my last day as a stay at home mom.

For now at least.

I can't believe we have finally come to this place and I am excited and terrified at the same time. After today, I will not be the only person who takes care of Gemma.

I am going to have to share my job with a babysitter.

Scary. She seems great (the babysitter), but still. It is so hard.

I will still get to spend most days with Gemma. I will work 5-9 (p.m.) during the week and then full days (8-5) every other weekend. We will still be able to have days like today, Target runs and iced caramel macchiatos from Starbucks and trips to the post office.

I probably shouldn't be whining. Errands aren't much fun and it will be nice to have a little money when I am running around, not to mention I have been bored out of my mind for months so getting out of the house will be great.

But leaving Gemma is a big deal. A HUGE deal. We haven't been apart for a combined 30 hours her entire life and now we will be apart 30 hours a week.

Yikes.

I am scared. I don't want to share. I want some things to stay the same.

Deep down though, I know everything will be okay. More than okay actually, I think this is the first step in a positive direction. Things will be great.

But still...

Wish me luck!

Great Deal!

So I have been eyeing baby leggings for a while but I am wayyy too cheap thrifty to plop down $12 for something that I am not sure I will really use. I mean they definitely look cute, and I can see the practical uses, but one thing I have learned in my 5 months as a mama is that you never know what works or not until you try it.

Luckily, I got an email today from Sydney So Sweet, the same website that I ordered bows from not too long ago, with a great offer of 6 pairs of baby leggings for $10! Making this deal even sweeter, you can get an additional 15% off of your entire order by using the code valentine15.

I ordered  6 pairs and with shipping it came to only $11.75, even less than one pair of some of the pairs I have seen.

They have a lot of bright colors that should be awesome for spring. Enjoy!

formspring.me

So, I have been slacking lately, mostly because I have been trying to tie up loose ends before my new job starts. I have interviewed and found a sitter for Gemma AND a potential for backup, gotten the rest of my law school applications together, shopped for some work clothes, and other odds and ends. I can not believe that my life is going to be so drastically different in a week or so. I have been so used to staying at home I don't know how I am going to feel. I don't even want to think about what it is going to be like to be separated from Gems, at least not yet!

I digress, but what I am meaning to get out (eventually I promise!) is that if you notice on the sidebar of this blog there is a box that says "Ask Me Anything" and it is really for just that. If you are interested, uou can ask me any question you want, anonymously if you choose! I will probably answer all questions. Unless they are really inappropriate or offensive of course. But I trust y'all!

So, ask away! And you can read the answers to your questions here  and if I get enough I will be sure to dedicate a post to them.

Have a great weekend!

Happy 5 Months Gemma

Happy 5 months my dear sweet Gemma! I am so glad I got to spend the day with you (as always!)

January has been the first month with you that I can truly say feels like it flew by. Being your mama really became so much easier this month. You and I have synced together into a routine that is cozy and familiar to us both.

You are still my little night owl. I am not sure if I like it or not but it seems to be working, and that is enough for me. Well, that it works and that you are happy is enough for me. I have become a woman who is easy to please. So bedtime is midnight or so and we had been sleeping until 11, or even later, but that doesn't make me happy so I am slowly trying to make wake up time a little earlier. You sleep well but from time to time I wake you up from moving around in my our bed. I act like I hate it but secretly I feel so comfy with you beside me...it just feels right. Maybe not for forever, but this month, it worked.

I never replaced your swing seat so you didn't play with that at all this month. You do really seem to like your Excersaucer. You have a love/hate relationship with the book toy. It seems to be your favorite but you get MAD when you can't seem to grab it just right. You also hang out on your play mat or a blanket on the floor. You scoot yourself around a lot and end up 90 degrees from the way I laid you down in the first place. You roll a lot but usually not all the way over. The arm that you need to put over your head to make it the rest of the way over is usually preoccupied as you grasp some toy or shove your fist in your mouth. Deep down, I think you can do it but that you just don't want to. Doesn't every mama think that?

When I weighed you on the home scale (by holding you and subtracting my weight) it said that you weighed 14 lbs and 2 oz and that doesn't seem too far off. We have actually been nursing more than we did last month but your diet is still predominately formula. You haven't tried any solids yet, mostly because your mama is a chicken.

You are wearing 3-6 month sleepers, and 0-3 and 3-6 months clothes. You are surprisingly tall, so your 0-3 month pants are quickly becoming high waters. Poor thing.  You are still fitting in to size 2 diapers pretty well.

I think that your hair loss has finally stopped and I your hair is growing slowly but surely. The Mohawk you had at birth is coming back...not nearly as cool but it is there.

Your eyes are still...strange. They look brown in the middle but green from certain angles and then it seems like they are still ringed in blue. So maybe they are still changing? Or maybe they will be hazel?  Isn't that what people usually call eyes where the color is not easily distinguished?

I have noticed recently that you are definitely the observant type. You take in a situation and absorb the possibilities before you react. Your granddaddy and I laugh at you as you study something because you can really see how deeply in thought you are. I wonder if this is a trait that you will continue to have as you get older and I look forward to finding out. Since the day you were born I have noticed how alert you are and I really think you just look out on the world and drink it in.

You have also proven yourself to be such a happy baby. Everybody who meets you comments on what a happy baby you are. Lots of things make you laugh. It makes my heart melt to think that sometimes all I have to do is look at you and you brighten up. It makes me want to stare at you all day, everyday.

As I type this you are laid across my belly sleeping and I am trying to think of what else I don't want to let myself forget. I am thinking of little things, like how much you like to play with your rings and how you seem to have started to like music more this month but really what I really want to remember is how much I love you, and how much you love me, and how much we totally love each other.

I am so blessed to be your mama.

I love you forever and always,

Mama

Here are a few more pictures from your monthly photo shoot (which I still need help with, any suggestions?)

With a Bow

Without a Bow

Arial View

Focused

Bahaha!