In order to move on the shoulda, coulda, wouldas have to stop.
I did what I thought was best.
And here I am.
And that is okay.
I guess I should back up a bit, and explain why this has been on my mind so much.
It was this time three years ago that I found out that I pregnant.
By someone I didn't love.
By someone I didn't really know.
I didn't want to be pregnant.
Especially not by him.
I wasn't going to tell anyone.
I wasn't going to have a baby.
I made plans.
But I couldn't...
I couldn't not have that baby.
I love Gemma, with everything I am.
But I still wonder...
Shoulda, coulda, woulda.
I should have never "been with him."
I could have "ended it."
I would have done things differently if only I knew how they would play out...
I made choices though.
I slept with him, didn't show up to the abortion I scheduled, I did what I did and there is no looking back...
It feels good to get that all out.
I just need to get it all out and move away from it.
Stop worrying about my past mistakes and focus on my future successes.
I need to let the past go.