Sunday, March 7, 2010

I Love You But...

Have you ever noticed that when a mom has something not so nice to say about her little one, they almost alway preface their statement with I love you but...

This gets to me, because obviously, any  person would not be happy that their toddler has NEVER slept through the night or that their little one with newfound teeth (like somebody I know) likes to chomp on their face (and the face of others) whenever they get the chance. (Again, like somebody I know) And while these annoyances are...well, annoying... nobody is going to think for a second that talking about how annoyed you are affects the love you have for your child. So, I love (him/her/them/you) buts...are pointless.


I do it too.

Because, I mean, I don't want anyone to think I don't love my kid and stuff.

So even thought I do not love I love you buts...

Here are a few I have for this girl:

(Who isn't wearing pants.)
(Again, Obviously.)

Gemma, I love you but...

  • Please stop trying to eat your dirty diaper while I am putting the new one on. Eww. It's gross.
  • Please take your hands out of your mouth while I am feeding you. Sticky icky baby food, mixed with slobber and then stuck in between teen tiny baby fingers, is...gross.
  • While we are on the subject of eating, will you please just let me handle the spoon? I've got it, I promise!
  • Please play with one of the random 900 toys that belongs to you that is scattered throughout the house instead of random (and potentially dangerous) items, such as laptop cords, coat hangers, and plastic bags. (Now I know why plastic bags come with that warning.)
  • Please stop biting mommy in the face. Pre-tooth, it was kinda funny, is is kinda painful.
 The moral of this story  blogpost, is to watch what goes in your mouth. Please. And a quick cheat sheet, in case you forget.

Diapers (In Your Mouth) = Ewww
Food + Hands (In Your Mouth) = Double Eww
(Please Let Mama Use the Spoon)
Laptop Cords or Coat Hangers or Plastic Bags (Im Your Mouth) =Dangerous
Mama's Face (In Your Mouth)=Ouch

Hope that Helps.

Love (with no buts...),