Mommy Blogger

Remember the new job I told you about? The receptionist position? I know I have mentioned it before...

Well, as it turns out, most of the time, all a receptionist does is sit around and wait for the phone to ring. I have a few other job responsibilities (putting together the newsletter, typing menus, and other projects as asked...) but a lot of my time is spent waiting. Luckily, I have internet access, but after a scary night where a visit to People of Walmart .com left office computer going crazy, I have been very nervous to scour the depths of the internet.

Instead, I have been reading blogs. Like really reading blogs, in chronological post order (from blog inception to present time). Sometimes, my head will hurt and my mind will wander and then I will scope out a few other blogs and then return to the one that I am "working" on. (Tough, right?)

As I have had more time to explore the blog world (Or blogosphere as the cool kids are calling it. Or maybe the cool kids once called it that, but don't anymore. I am sure they are on to something else now...) I have seen this phrase over and over again...

Mommy Blogger

If when saying that out loud you are wrinkling your nose and acting as if you are spitting out something that tastes bad, then you are reading it they way that I do. It is the same tone and expression used when a teenager is asked to shop at Walmart or when Tim Gunn speaks of the Kardashians.

Taq-ee!

I had heard the phrase before, and I knew it wasn't a great thing but the more I read it, the more I started to feel...embarassed. For what this blog is, for what I write about.

This blog, that has been a place for me to share the most powerful experiences of my life, is silly and inconsequential and...mockable, even.

My cheeks turn pink at the thought.

(Note: I realize that my teeny, tiny blog with its teeny tiny ((but appreciated and loved)) readership isn't exactly a big deal, or even a deal at all, but still...I was/maybe still am embarassed.)

So the more I have felt the embarassment, the more I have thought about what I write about.

Gemma mostly.

And some on the experience of what motherhood has been like for me and some about what it is like to be a mom under my unique circumstances (the whole single, baby daddy not involved, living back home and trying to figure it all out thing...)

In thinking of this, I reaffimed to myself that yes, I am totally a Mommy Blogger.

So I began thinking, I definitely don't want this label attached to me, this word that is spat out, so what else should I write about?

The thing is, I couldn't think of much.

This REALLY bothers me.

Not because of blogging, but because I realized I have become a mom and...

a mom and...

a mom and...?

So all of these thoughs, on blogging, and being, and mommy blogging, and identity swoosh around and then I realize...

Something has to change. I need a fuller (more bloggable) life.

As much as I love my dear sweet baby, if she is the only thing in my life I find interesting then I have a problem.

A big problem.

So tonight (sitting at work, sucking a cherry Jolly Rancher, and waiting for the phone to ring,) I vow to live a life I find more interesting.

More full.

More passionate.

More fun.

More beautiful.

More bloggable.

Maybe then, when I hear the term Mommy Blogger I can smile and confidently say...

"I am so much more than that"

(Not that that is a bad thing!)