Today, was my last day as a stay at home mom.
For now at least.
I can't believe we have finally come to this place and I am excited and terrified at the same time. After today, I will not be the only person who takes care of Gemma.
I am going to have to share my job with a babysitter.
Scary. She seems great (the babysitter), but still. It is so hard.
I will still get to spend most days with Gemma. I will work 5-9 (p.m.) during the week and then full days (8-5) every other weekend. We will still be able to have days like today, Target runs and iced caramel macchiatos from Starbucks and trips to the post office.
I probably shouldn't be whining. Errands aren't much fun and it will be nice to have a little money when I am running around, not to mention I have been bored out of my mind for months so getting out of the house will be great.
But leaving Gemma is a big deal. A HUGE deal. We haven't been apart for a combined 30 hours her entire life and now we will be apart 30 hours a week.
Yikes.
I am scared. I don't want to share. I want some things to stay the same.
Deep down though, I know everything will be okay. More than okay actually, I think this is the first step in a positive direction. Things will be great.
But still...
Wish me luck!
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aww you'll be just fine honey!! im not gonna lie tho, when I started back to work after maternity leave, leavin Slade was the hardest thing I have ever done! I cried numerous times. but what makes it so worth it is seeing him smile and light up when I walk in the room to pick him up after work! Good luck momma! youre gonna be great!
ReplyDeleteHoping your first evening went great!
ReplyDeleteIf you like your job, you'll find the transition so much easier.
And I think you'll be surprised to start remembering who you are as an individual and it will make you appreciate Gemma even more!
I hope everything went okay! I understand how you feel, it's exactly how I felt when I went back to school. Keep us updated!
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