Growing Pains

As is to be expected, there have been some growing pains as I am starting my new job. I have only worked 3 consecutive days so it feels like there are so many kinks to work out. I don't think I realized just how relaxed my life had become. There were times that I felt it was hard but it is a completely different kind of hard than what I am facing now.

Working out the details of my new situation is DRIVING ME CRAZY.

All of a sudden, I have to get Gemma on a schedule because I need to make sure that she is ready to go by 4 or 4:30 and I need to make sure she eats at a meal time, because that is what you are supposed to do, and we really should be waking up earlier so I can get more done during the day...

Have you ever put an almost 6 month old baby who has never had a schedule on a schedule? It is so freaking hard.

I have also had Babysitter drama. I brought Gemma to the sitter on Monday and got a text on Tuesday that she didn't have heat until potentially Friday and her house was freezing so I had to scramble to line up a sitter. My mom watched her last night and a neighbor watched her tonight but unless they deliver the oil for the official babysitter's heat sometime tomorrow, I have no clue what I will do with her. It is not like I can call and explain and hope that they are understanding after the mess that was last week.

Dropping Gemma off with anyone is difficult for her and she cries. It breaks my heart. I would never let her cry for long at home and I feel awful that she is crying for so long with other people.

And on top of all of that, I am learning a new job.

Part of me wonders if all of this is worth it...I really hope it is.