I am sick and tired of people telling me that Gemma's babyhood will be gone in a flash/blink of an eye/before I know it. The thought depresses me, and it makes me feel old. At 23. And now, I am terrified to blink. I spend time everyday reminding myself that time is all relative thus wasting time thus triggering OMG where is my life going thoughts and perpetuating the cycle. Does that sound a little crazy to you?
Part of me REALLY wants a job but part of me wishes I could just stay home with Gemma. Realistically, I need the money and the experience but I can't imagine the day when I gave to drop her off at the sitter. I feel like we have become a unit over the past couple of months...
This Halloween was the first in my life I didn't dress up. That kind of bums me out.
So apparently Gemma has some Milk Protein Sensitivity issues which means NOTHING with even the slightest bit of dairy in it for me for the next 2 months, possibly longer. As someone who could possibly live on cheese this is a total bummer.
Gemma slept 6-7 hour stretches twice last week and hasn't done it since.
As much as I love Gemma I still want myself back. Almost every thought I have is about her. Surely, this won't be what my entire life is like...will it? I know she will always be on my mind but will I always feel so...consumed by her?
Hey Kacie,
ReplyDeleteI truly admire your openness. And NO, none of what you have said sounds crazy. I feel like you are writing about myself. Just know that you have a blogger friend right below you in NC who understands! :)
One day I will be bold enough like you to share some of my deeper thoughts. Thanks for the encouragement! :)
Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I am glad I could help!