So I am way far behind. My original plan really was to post here everyday. I promise those were my intentions. The whole countdown from 101 days is a lot less effective when I am trying to post about a week. I literally can't remember where I parked 20 minutes ago, much less recount the trials and tribulations of my life for an entire week at a time (although, admittedly the life I am recounting is a bit dull at the time). It is just too overwhelming.
Some things I can tell you about the past few days.
- Worst. Doctors. Appointment. Ever. this Wednesday. Stupid internal exam SUCKED and they told me the fluid surrounding the baby is low. The doctor didn't seem too concerned but google has freaked me out so now I am going to demand that they at least look into the situation a little more closely. Find out how low is low and make sure baby looks perfect, stuff like that. Is this crazy? She says she isn't concerned because the baby is still growing, but do we wait until she stops growing to worry? Also, fluid levels can effect development of certain organs, to little can lead to cord compression, etc. I can't just trust her without a little more investigation/reassurance. I already have such a hard time feeling baby's movements and it makes me more nervous that something could go wrong.
- My thoughts are still a little dark but I have been doing a lot better than I was.
- I am rethinking law school because I am worried I won't be able to get a job to pay back all of the loans...and I am not really positive I want to be a lawyer. I don't know what else I would do though and sadly enough a huge reason I am considering keeping with law school (as opposed to another form of grad school) is that I already have lsac submitted recommendation letters (I wouldn't have to scramble for more.)
- My insurance is being a PAIN.
- Our kittens are currently huge sources of entertainment...We watch them forever at a time.
- I finally finished reading the book about little people. It wasn't what I wanted it to be but it was okay. Now I am reading The Kitchen God's Wife by Amy Tan which is a random choice but it was really cheap at a book sale and I like Amy Tan so I went for it. Since I have been home it feels like I can't really get into books the way I used to. I read like 15 pages and I am tired. I have NEVER been like this. I used to be the kind of person who could lay in bed and read for HOURS.
- I miss boys. I really want a boy that is my boy. I have never had a serious relationship before (and I am pregnant...does that even make sense) but now I crave the stability. The random boys thing obviously hasn't worked out. Unfortunately I have a feeling it will be quite a while before I can even think about dating...
- My baby shower is in less than a week. About 7 of my friends say they are coming and I am hoping at least most of them show because I am afraid I will be crushed if they don't. (There is also family and family friends but these are friends from college, from my old life, that I am really hoping to get to see.) It is amazing what a source of anxiety baby showers can become.
- As of yesterday I am 33 weeks pregnant. Yikes. Supposedly the baby is putting on 5-9 oz every single week from this point on and is about 4 pounds already. I can't believe it. It's like...a baby now or something!
- Entourage started tonight! It is actually on as I type...But I forgot when exactly it was premeiring so now I have to wait to watch it.
OHHHHH. And I almost forgot. For the sake of this blog we have crossed a VERY important milestone. My countdown is OVER halfway done. Granted, the baby could be born a little late or whatever but still. It is hard to believe that 53 days have passed in this pregnancy since I have begun. The baby had grown and developed so much.
Yet, we still have so far to go!
-48 Days Until Baby