Tuesday, July 28, 2009

32 Days Until Baby

I love my sister.

That being said, I am not sure if I like her sometimes. We are complete opposites. I am an extrovert, she in an introvert. I spend money like it's paper and she stresses about $2 purchases. I make lots of mistakes and she never really risks anything in the first place.

Sometimes it is hard to imagine we grew up in the same household. How can the same set of parents and the same upbringing produce two people who are so drastically different? So much for nature OR nurture. The only explanation I could even try to pose is that it may be proof of the existence of a spirit...

As most of us grow up it becomes a lot easier to deal with our siblings no matter how different we are. Age and time and space make it much easier for us to respect one another, appreciate each other for whoever they have become and give hugs at Christmas and make obligatory birthday calls.

Unfortunately, my sister and I, whose relationship and one point had been strengthened by all of these things, has become a complete mess since I have moved back home.

We fight like little kids. Right now we are in a stand off with neither of us talking to the other...This is after a blow up yesterday that left her crying at the house and me angrily leaving for the (kind of) solace found at my grandparents house, and my dad running off to play bingo to avoid the situation entirely.

I hesitate to explain the situation to my friends because it seems so ridiculous it's embarassing but I am still so MAD at her. Everything she does bothers me (probably more than it should.) The dynamics of our relationship make me feel more like a little kid than a grown woman who is about to have a child of her own.

Our relationship brings out the ugliest parts of my self. I don't know why or how to fix this.

For now, I am not sure if there are any fixes at all. I am pretty much stuck here in my father's house for at least the next year. She returns to school at the end of the month, but she is only gone 3 or 4 days a week.

I want things to just be okay... I am not sure what it will take for that to happen though.

-32 Days Until Baby


  1. I'm sorry you have to go through this on top of everything else. I have a brother who's 10 years younger than me (same parents) and I know he had a lot of resentment towards me during my pregnancy. I had disrupted our family, my parents were always upset, money got very tight, and our house went from normal home to storage for me and all of the things a baby needs. And it was all my fault. Which it was- I got myself into it and now he was paying for it.

    But as soon as he saw how scared and nervous I was, that even though I tried to act like nothing anyone said mattered, that it was only me trying to protect myself- he became a huge source of support. I'm not saying that's how it is or will be with your sister, everyone's different. But maybe she feel like that. Maybe if she realized how much you and the baby are going to need her she would be more "there for you" and supportive.

    Don't let it stress you out too much, everything will be fine!

  2. Thanks for the encouragement!

    I think it is really tough on my sister...
    Things have been better the past few days and I am definitely counting on things getting better with time.