8/30/2010

I went to the Sheriff's office this morning, to make sure I had Gemma's car seat installed properly (rear-facing of course). Next, it was time for Gemma's well-baby visit (18 pounds, 9 ounces and 29.65" long.) She fell asleep while we waited in the office for two hours and then awoke to being poked, prodded and eventually receiving 3 shots in her sweet little baby thighs.

Lovely.

They also wanted to have her blood drawn today. That would have been another office, another wait, and another jab in the sweet little baby thighs (or arm maybe?)  Mama bear stepped in and said it ain't happenin'...today at least...and we were left for home, with only one thing on our minds.

(a nap)

We got home around 1 and I fell asleep right with her. We woke at 4, and scrambled so that I could  make it to work on time.

Crap.

I forgot my camera. So pictures of the birthday girl and her birthday bash will have to wait. (Fair warning, there aren't many. Turns out just throwing the birthday bash is a total time suck that interupts picture taking opportunities.)

So tomorrow hopefully, I will tell you about my one year old.

Today, we took a nap.

1

In a little less than an hour, it will be my Gemma's birthday.

In a little less than 16 hours, she will have been here for a whole year.

There are so many things that I could write about today.

How much she's grown. How much I have grown. How much I love her. How fast it has all gone. How excited I am for things to come.

To be honest, you've probably read that post before...am I right?

I could show you her month to month pictures, but you can go back through my archives and look for yourself.

Yep, I'm lazy.

I could tell you the birth story that I never posted.

But I have forgotten.

(except, I haven't forgotten the nurse who said I looked like Ugly Betty "but not ugly," or the pain of an epidural that DID NOT WORK.)

And you don't want to hear about my cervix anyway right?

If you do, I reserve the right to judge you...creep.

I could tell you about my plans for today.

I think today is going to be a day spent with hugs and kisses, last minute party preparations, and maybe an ice cream cone.

But there isn't too much else to say about a day that hasn't happened yet.

Okay...

So maybe I will tell you that I love her.

A lot.

And here is just one picture.

The first time I touched my Gemma.

And now...

she's 1.

Two Days Until Baby...Turns One (and she's a precious jewel)

This week, we are celebrating all things Gemma.

(Yes, I realize it's already Wednesday and I am behind on life. Shhhh!)

I have already told you about how I chose Gemma's name. So often, when I tell people her name they will say, "Oh, that's different." Well I thought I would create a post to show those people, its not!

 (Maybe in the future I will direct them to this blog post.)

A Parade of Gemmas

(In honor of my Gemma)

Gemma Ward

Australian Model

Alpha Coronae Borealis-Also Known by Traditional Name Gemma

A binary star in the constellation Corona Borealis. It is located about 75 light years from the Solar System.

Gemma Frisius

A physician, mathematician, cartographer, a somewhat confused philosopher and instrument maker.

A Gemma

parentIn botany, a Gemma is a single cell, or mass of cells, or a modified bud of tissue  that detaches from the  and develops into a new individual.

Gemma Galgani

Italian Saint. Patronage includes students, pharmacists, tuberculosis patients, love, hope, and spinal injury.

Like I said, I am so not original.

Here's Catherine Bell with her daughter Gemma.

And a clam named Gemma.

To be honest though...

there is only one Gemma for me.

She turns one in 2 days.

Getting to Know Me! (What Fun!)

It's Sunday, and I am here at work so you know I am most definitely wasting time and participating in Getting to Know You (a.ka. Me. Or you if you play along too, I guess) with Keely @ MannLand5.

Without further adieu:

1. If you could host a Reality TV show, which one would it be?

Top Chef. Mostly just because I like to eat. How fun would it be to go to work, eat great food and sip wine, and then get to be a huge jerk about whatever you don't like? I'm thinking the answer to that is VERY fun!

2. Do you put your seatbelt on before or after you start the car?

Do people really pay attention to this stuff? Probably before.

3. Shave or hair removal cream?

Shave, baby. I am old school. Hair removal cream stuff can BURN!

4. What's your favorite feature in a house?

I am not really in a house hunting place in my life now, BUT, when I was younger, I always wanted one of those padded storage benches that sits in a window. I always thought it would be great to have a seat like that, so I could sit and read books. I was (am?) a huge nerd. I think I got the idea from Full House. I also got the idea of wanting to have my room in the bathroom and sleeping in the bathtub from Full House, but I digress.

5. What is your favorite "Fall" scent?

Scents make me more nostagic than any other sense. I really love the smell of the leaves combined with the smell of others' wood burning stoves. I also love the smell of school supplies and new clothes for Fall. Oh, and Pumkin Spice Latte's of course!

6. What tv show are you looking forward to seeing the most this Fall??

So many! I am a total TV addict, and I have been missing my shows! I guess two of the ones I am most excited for would be:

and:

7. Personal Shopper or Personal Chef?

Personal shopper. I have no personal style, whatsoever. Oprah, do you wanna hook me up?

8. What is the first word that comes to mind when you think of "Fall"?

Leaves. I'm an original, I know!

8 Days Until Baby...Turns One

Remember when I told you here that my dear sweet Gemma had an unexplained fever and was not feeling so hot (well, actually she was REALLY hot,  but ya know what I mean.)

Well, we got our explanation. After four feverish days, she woke up covered in spots. It kind of looked like this:

(this isn't Gemma btw)

Roseola. It is a basic childhood illness that I would Google and link for you, but I am sure that if I did that I would find the one website that would convince me that Gemma's face is going to fall off, and then I would have something else to worry too much about.

Poor babe (I am feeling sorry for her sickness, and her psychotic mama, not her face falling off, in case you were wondering.)

On the bright side, the rash only lasted a couple of days and upon its arrival Gemma's fever was gone and her spirits were much better.

See?

A relatively happy, rash free baby. (With 6 teeth!)

Today was a good day. It is beautiful outside,  so Gemma and I went for a walk to pick up things to send with her for dinner at the babysitters. In a stunning show of creativity, I bought ground chicken, chicken breasts, chicken legs, and a measly sweet potato. (I do plan on sending her with fruits and veg, just the boring frozen ones we already have at home.)

Poor kid! If I keep this up she won't need the chicken cosume that I bought her for Halloween...

Anyone have any good ideas for simple yummy stuff that I could send to the sitter's for Gemma's dinner? I have found all kinds of cute ideas for lunch stuff, but I guess I just feel like dinner should be more...substantial. Does that make sense?

We also went to get my sister's car inspected. The rental car that I have had since our small wreck has run out, so I am car-less until this weekend when we go shopping for a replacement. My sister was recently given a car by my grandfather, but it is older than what I am used to, and much louder than what I am used to, so since the inspection was almost up we went to get it inspected so that I could feel okay with putting Gemma in it.

(Yes, I am seriously that paranoid!)

This post is beginning to make me yawn, so I guess I will go back to work (because that's more exciting???)

Bye Y'all!

10 Days Until Baby...Is One

I have mentioned before, that before this blog was And Baby Makes Two it was 101 Days Until Baby; a literal countdown until Gemma was supposed to enter this world.

When I look back at the things I wrote then, only a year ago,  it is surreal. I was a different person then. Younger. Not a mother. In some ways, much braver. Completely clueless. Overly optimisic. I read it and I miss myself, and at the same time have to try hard to remember me as that person.

What a difference a year makes.

In honor of being 10 days away from Gemma's birthday....

...pausing to let that one sink in...

I am going to repost what I wrote 8/19/2009; which was 10 days before Gemma's due date, and 10 days before she was born.

Oh, to reminisce...


"10 Days Until Baby"
Oh My GOODNESS!

10 Days.

That is like officially countdown worthy... I can't believe my due date is in a week and a half.
I would like to say it flew by or that it has dragged on forever...but honestly...it hasn't. Time passed, as it does, and now here I am.
WOW.
Ok, as that is beginning to sink on I think I will move on to the beach thing.
I had started a post about this last week but things got hectic and I was being long winded and taking to long to finish it so I never did. :)

So last Wednesday I ended up in the hospital with a Pre-Eclampsia scare. I had been feeling dizzy and swollen and strange so the doctor had me come in. My blood pressure was slightly elevated so they sent me to the hospital. My blood work and such came back fine. They noticed I was having a few contractions and noticed that I had dilated to 1 cm (my first bit of progress!) and then I was discharged since everything was okay. My doctor also told me not to go to the beach and to make an appointment for her in the middle of this week, canceling the appointment I had last Friday since she had just seen me in the hospital.

I came home and told my dad that I couldn't go to the beach, that was my decision, and that I was bummed about but would do what I had to do.
While this was happening I noticed the contractions that had been brought to my attention by the monitor at the hospital were continuing and felt stronger.

My mom called, and when I told her this she asked if I wanted to come stay the night with her at her house so she could keep an eye on me and make sure everything was okay.
Let me interupt myself to say my mom is somewhat of a drama queen. I mean that in the nicest way possible, and I am sure her intentions are good, it is just that sometimes her actions are extreme.
So when I got to my mom's house she told me to tell her when I was having these contractions so that we could time them. For about 2 hours I was having contractions every 5 minutes and they HURT. I was also having a TON of back pain and peeing every 3 minutes (my apologies for the TMI). My mom told me that I should go back into the hospital to be monitored.
I wasn't sure what to do. When I had left the hospital the nurse said come in with contractions 5 minutes apart but the doctor corrected her to say 3 contractions in 10 minutes... I knew these were only 5 minutes apart but with some prodding from my mom and my own building excitement I called L&D and asked them what to do. Of course, they gave me the standard answer of it is better safe than sorry, if I felt I needed to come in please do so, and so on and so forth.

That was basically all the encouragement I needed so I was off again. The contractions continued but there were no cervical changes and I was sent home.

This DEPRESSED me. Not that I have any huge desire for this baby to come super early (or early at all for that matter) but I didn't understand the pain for nothing. And I was sooo embarrassed.

Then I decided I would go to the beach, not worry about pregnancy or impending labor... I decided I would go and relax and just basically enjoy myself as much as possible.

Sunday morning we were off. I rode down with my dad and my sister. We made stops every hour and a half so that I could keep circulation going and such. I survived a 7 hour drive with only minimal swelling and I was so happy.

The first day went well, I read a book (this was a huge accomplishement for me, I haven't been able to finish a book all summer!), I went out on the ocean. The next day was good too... Swam in the pool, browsed through some shops. I was really happy about my decision.

Then somehow it was like a switch had been flipped. I started to feel really negative about being down there and wanted to be home. It was too hot, I felt like I couldn't participate much. I was afraid to walk around shops because I was afraid my water was going to break and I would be forced to deliever the baby in another state.

The thought of my mother not being there AND being with a strange doctor were way to much to handle. I got all emotional and started crying. For an hour or two there was a big debate about who could come pick me up from the beach. Even more crying. Eventually my dad (literally the best dad ever) decided he would take me home. I felt guilty but he told me to get over it and let's go.


We left at 8 p.m. and got home around 1:30 a.m. My dad and my sister stayed at the house for about 5 minutes and then were back on the road. I haven't talked to them yet today (I am assuming they are getting much needed sleep!) to see when they got back, but I am guessing it was somewhere around 7 this morning.

And now, here I am. I feel terrible about wasting people's time and energy. I wish I had of just listened to the doctor in the first place. I still feel like I would rather be at the beach than here but if the baby does come I am so relieved that I will be here...

I think coming back was the right thing to do.

Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment and I am interested to see what she has to say... I am still kind of hoping that she isn't born until Suday at least, so that my whole family will be here.

"After that, as bad as it sounds, I am all for her coming whenver she wants. I have heard that babies make a lot of progress between 37-39 weeks but I think at 39 weeks she should be pretty much perfect so by all means LO...


If you are ready...So am I... I think???

-10 Days Until Baby


P.S. I aplogize for discussing my cervix in this post.

P.P.S. The whole beach debacle was because family vacation was a week before my due date, and I wasn't sure whether or not I should go. I was nervous to leave, but didn't want to be home alone either.

P.P.P.S. I totally wasn't ready.

P.P.P.P.S. I also had a lot more time for looong blog posts ;)

Me Me Me Monday (the third)

So, did you notice I avoided this last week?

Finding the me in single motherhood continues to prove difficult. Without a partner to defer to, I'm always "on." of course, all mothers experience that, but I think for us single moms it is harder.

I haven't gone to the gym. Haven't quit drinking soda. Haven't been watching what I eat.

I still believe that finding the time/energy/motivation to treat my body right is the first step that I need to take toward reclaiming myself. I'm not so sure what is blocking me. I have the resources I need, and I know that it is something I really want...

Maybe that is the key, is that I am not making what I want a priority. I am not sure that I even remember how to do that.

Any tips, suggestions?

Anyone want to tell me to just suck it up and do it?  (I have a feeling that that is what needs to happen.) Will this be the Monday that I get a firm grip on my bootstraps?

I'm optimistic.

I'm optimistic.

I'm optimistic.

Fevers, Tantrums, and Rainy Days

It's be a little quiet here this week. It has been quiet at home too. Well, sort of. It has been quiet if quiet means that you don't have any fun at all and just care for a flaming hot, fussy, almost one year old while watching Mr. Hollands Opus and eating steak flavored potato chips then all has been...quiet.

Starting Wednesday evening until about 10 a.m. this morning Gemma has been running a temperature that stayed around 101-102 degrees. Last night, it spiked to over 103, and I had a mini mommy meltdown but then came to the conclusion that the only thing I could do was wait it out for morning, when I could call the pediatrician and go buy Motrin to give her in addition to the Tylenol she had been getting. Luckily, by 10 a.m. when we woke up (sooo late, oh my goodness!) her fever had begun to go down and by early afternoon she was almost completely herself.

I am blaming the whole ordeal on teething, because well...I don't know what else would explain it. She had just been at the docs and her ears/nose/throat and everything else was checked, and she is cutting new teeth, so there ya go. Teething it is. Who cares if Dr. Google says teething won't cause temperatures that high.

The weather has been rainy and demotivating all day. I had to coax myself into going to get my paycheck cashed. There is a special kind of lazy that doesn't feel like going to get money.

*sigh*

My lazy, somberness has followed me here to work where the best I can do is yawn and eek out this post.

Maybe being off this weekend will be enough to cheer me up =)

See ya Monday....

p.s. I hardly mentioned the tantrums I promised in the title of this post. I will say that Gemma wasn't the only one throwing them.

(Mostly) Wordless Wednesday

My sweet waking baby....

really is becoming a teenager all too fast.

On a sidenote, my dad called her dollar store t-shirt PJ's redneck. I called it economical.

Hi!

I just wanted to say HI!

See ya tomorrow =)

(This picture is NOT Gemma, I found it here while Google-ing  "cute")

Getting to Know ME! (It's Been a While!)

1. Do you think mustaches are sexy?

Nope. They remind me of my daddy.

2. What's the last concert you've been to?

Oh geez. I honestly can't remember. It would definitely be when I was still in school and there is about a 99% chance it was rap music. I haven't been to a concert in a couple of years, how sad!

3 What was your favorite 80's sitcom?

Hands Down:

Close Second:

Ooops, I mean:

4. Were you named after anyone?

There is a family rumor that my first name was chosen because of the show Cagney and Lacey:

but I don't really believe it. My middle names are "borrowed" though, the first was my mom's best friend and the second is my grandmother's name.

5. When you buy new clothes, do you wash before wearing?

Nope.

6. If you didn't blog, what would you do with your spare time?

Oh gosh. There is life outside of blogging? How dare you suggest such things!!!

7. What is your favorite department store?

Hmm. I used this list to choose from. Well, growing up, we only had J.C. Penny, Sears, and Belk to choose from, and honestly I think I like them all the same.

8. If you were to get Laser Hair Removal..where would you get it?

My eyebrows and lip area. Oh, the sorrows of having dark hair...

Sunshine Award!

I received and awesome Sunshine Award from Sarah at Fanged Faerie Princess.

The award is for bloggers who spread happiness and light, and although I have been slacking in the happiness and light categories lately, today is a good day...

I think the sunshine is back =)

(P.S. I need the sunshine so I am keeping it for myself, award rules be darned!)

Today, I am working. I am in an awesome mood for no good reason...

Life this week has been pretty much focused on the things I mentioned in my last post... Party planning, playroom planning, and fostering the last 3 of the litter of kittens I took in.

Party planning is going great. I have a cake ordered, plates, streamers, goodie buckets (that don't match the party, but whatevs). I still need to decide on a definite menu and figure out how to make it happen. I am definitely doing tacos, but I need to choose recipes to use, and make lists of things to buy. I also want a few extra sweet treats, so I need to figure that out. I need to rent the helium tank, buy baloons, and print out any of the paper decorations that I ordered from Etsy...oh and I have to buy shells and spray paint and work on my centerpieces...so yeah, there is work to be done, but I have faith I can do it in three weeks!

The playroom stuff is going well too. This is what I have ordered so far:

I really want this rug:

but the rug is 6'5" x 4'4" and the room is 10'x11', so I am worried it might be too small for a playroom. Whaddya think?

As far as the kittens go, I have finally gotten attached (they hid a lot the first few days that I had them,) and now they are going to their forever home today. (Crossing my fingers)

I haven't been able to get any cute pictures of them, because they basically look like little black fluffballs and my photog skills are probably on par with those of a drunk toddler, so umm yeah...just believe me when I say that they are cute. And sweet. And squishy.

Aww...kitty's =)

In other sunshine-y news, it is lunch time, and I am leaving this desk and enjoying the sunshine for a bit!

Happy 11 Months (and SEVEN days) Gemma!

Okay, so I am a little late in writing this this month....ya wanna know why?

My dear sweet babe has been replaced with a wild woman. I am convinced that I am now caring for a reckless teenager trapped in the body of an almost one year old. She is argumentative, stubborn, exceedingly emotional. She is into everything, and the more she knows it isn't a good idea, the more intriguing it seems.

Seriously, is this pre-toddlerhood already? Because if so, I think I am going to need a few days to stockpile supplies and come up with a game plan because it is about to get crazy... This little lady is taking over the world! Or my world. Either way, wowza!

Thank God for the cute, sweet moments that almost definitely make up for the hard times. Especially the baby hugs and kisses. I think I pretty much exist for her sweet hugs where she rests her head on my shoulder, or her kisses where it seems as if she is trying to bite my lips off.

Yep, that's what I live for.

Crap, I just deleted the best picture when I was trying to delete this one:

Oh, well.

This month for me has been marked by the assertion of your independence, your crazy mobility, and your 4 sweet teeth (and two more that have just popped through!) I feel like it has definitely been a small preview of what's to come when my bitty baby becomes a teeny toddler, and of course, I am excited and terrified all at the same time.

As far as the boring stuff:

You recently have decided that sleeping is for fools. You fight naps, and don't like to go to sleep at night really. Most of my attempts at moving you  to the crib after you have fallen asleep are thwarted. Oh geez. After some serious consideration and soul searching I have decided ultimately that I will not try a "cry it out" or "Ferber Method" approach to getting you to sleep better, or any other method of sleep training method for that matter,  so...I guess it is what it is...but work with me dear, okay?

You are so over any sort of baby contraptions, and you even hate the little gate that I bought to try and keep the beast (well, you) contained, so pretty much you crawl wherever, and pull up on anything within reach.  You especially like the T.V. in my our room, where you can reach the buttons and turn the t.v. off and on. I am not so fond of that game. I do enjoy watching you cruise furniture and watching you figure out how to sit down can actually be funny sometimes.

I have no clue how much you weigh right now...my best guess would be around 18 pounds and you are still so tall! You wear size 3 diapers, and mostly size 12 months clothes. You pretty much live in dresses, rompers, and a few little shorts sets and that size seems to work in everything...

Your hair is decidedly dirty blond for now, and it is cute but I still not-so-secretly hope that you get my dark hair one day. I mean, you are obviously still gorgeous so it doesn't really matter but, um, please? Your eyes are a dark brown, and they still have a ring around them, however the ring around your eyes in now brown too.

There isn't really a need to mention food anymore as pretty much everything has been fair game, and you seem to enjoy most things equally. Your diet consists of a lot of Cheerio's, bananas, grilled chicken, pasta, rice, and other fruits and veggies, but you also get table food when we are home together for dinner but that is rare.

I'm sad to see so much of who you were slowly fade away, but seeing you become your own person is so exciting that it makes me feel so much better. You make me laugh, you make me smile, and sometimes you make me pull my hair out, but I am not exaggerating one bit when I say that the more I get to know you the more my love grows and grows.

I love you with my whole heart, and then some.

Forever and ever,

Mama 

Me Me Me Monday-2

I'm already not looking forward to this post.

Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that just proves that this exercise is going to push me out of my comfort zone. Maybe.

Or maybe I just don't want to admit that I have done absolutely nothing on the self improvement front in the past week.

Things I have done in the past week include:

• Witness a drug bust at my neighbor's house.
• Rescue and rehome a litter of kittens.
• Tour Gemma's birthday party hall, and make a list of things left to do/buy.
• Watch everything on my DVR.
• Began cleaning a spare room and shopping for what will become Gemma's playroom.

See. No self improvement there.

Things I didn't do this week:

• Send a very important fax.
• Go to the gym and/or eat right.
• Seriously consider where I want to be professionally in the future.
• Make up a game plan for life in general.
• Or anything else that was productive to my future.

I think I am slowly sinking into a rut. Or maybe, I am just now looking up at the world and realizing that I'm already in a rut. It's okay though, I think it is only human to get to these places, I just really need to get myself out.

The problem is, I really feel like all I need to do is put one foot in front of the other in the direction that I want to go, but since I have no idea where I want to go, I just stand here...spinning in circles...digging my hole (err, rut) deeper.

Where is this lifeplan at? I've done some soul searching, and I've come up empty. I just want to love and be loved and be surrounded by beautiful things like everyone else in the world...how does that translate into reality? Into a future? Into my future?

What am I to do when I keep digging deeper and deeper and yet I still come up empty handed?

There is a crude expression that I grew up hearing...basically it's poo or get off the pot (I don't need to translate, do I?) The thing is, I don't want to get off of my proverbial pot. I don't want to stop here...just me and the baby, living at home, with a job that's okay I guess...

What can I do?

Where can I go?

I keep telling myself that there is time, but each time I say it now, it seems like more and more of a lie.

So I guess I will sit here, and hope it comes (ewww) before life forces me off the pot ...