Monday, September 14, 2009

What Next?

So, I got those library books returned today!

I picked up a pack of Thank You cards for the baby gifts.

I showered and then STRAIGHTENED my hair for the first time in the 18 days since Gemma was born.

I know we are still not quite *there* as far as establishing a perfect routine but today is proof that life is going to go on and that this all baby all time phase of life will come to an end.

As excited as I am to move on the next stage of my life I am realizing it is a complete blank slate and I am scared to death...

I don't have a job to return to. I don't have friends in the area. I am still not sure about any graduate/professional school plans. I had all summer to think about it but I just kept telling myself it wouldn't do any good to make plans until the baby came.

Well the baby came and it is time to start making plans and I don't know where to start.

Should I look for a "real" job or just accept anything that pays? Should I wait until Gemma is 6 weeks old or 8 weeks old or older? Do I really want to go to law school next year? Do I want to look into another sort of graduate program? Should I move back to Richmond or would that just be an attempt to reclaim my old life which no longer exists?

I know that I am pretty much stuck here, in my hometown and living with my dad, for at least a year. What can be done to make a life for myself here?

How can I make a life for Gemma and I together? A baby was the furthest thing from my mind as I dreamed for my future but now she is here and I have to reconcile the two-what I had wanted in life and what my new life must include.

Baby is crying...

1 comment:

  1. I live in Richmond!!!

    Your life will never be the same again, but you be excited about the new normal. Look at this next year as a gift with your daughter.
    You have your whole life for the next step, but just a small amount of time with her just the way she is.