85 Days Until Baby

So the word of today is disappointment.

I am going to apologize in advance for the melancholy tone of this post...and the others for the past week or so. Maybe it is the rain. I don't know. Yesterday, I was feeling better but then today it just seems like another setback.

So earlier in the week I was determined to reconnect with my friends, even though at this point my phone still wasn't working, so I sent out a few emails. My friend SQ responded and suggested that I should come to the BBQ alot of my friends are going to and said I could carpool with someone. I responded letting her know I was interested and pretty much assumed it was as good as planned.

I never got a follow up email so today I figured I would text SQ to see what was up with the plans. She suggested two of our mutual friends that I could get a ride with, saying the first would definitely do it. I texted and called the first suggested friend and go no response, so I texted her back to see what she thought and see how she was getting there. Apparently, a huge group of my friends all decided to leave tonight so that they could go out to some club tonight something I obviously can't do. I called friend number two that she suggested and she said she had a tight schedule tommorrow but would call me in an hour or hour and a half and let me know something... It has been three hours.

This is a frustrating scenario for various, less obvious reasons. First of all, I would have never even been that concerned about the party if it hadn't been suggested that a ride would be taken care of. Second of all, I didn't follow up as quickly as I should have and if I did I would have a ride. Lastly, I am just bummed that I can't go to clubs and things anymore...It isn't fun being the one who lives far away from everyone and can't do anything fun.

  I know life has changed for a lot of my other friends who graduated, but many of them live close to one another at least...I am at least an hour away from any of my good friends and I am pregnant so I feel as if my situation is 10 times worse. Also, going to school in the city for the past 5 years I am not much of a driver so I am still in the process of learning to drive well enough to go wherever I want to go so there is a compounded stuck feeling. Basically I am bored, broke, lonely, stranded, frustrated, unsure about my future...And that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Granted, I feel blessed in many ways. I know this baby and I have a lot in store for us and I know I will be successful. The road getting there is going to be a rough one and I am kind of scared. The thing is, I am not moving at all right now. I am just chilling on the side of the road waiting for the time to get back on. 

I don't know if this is right. Should I be doing more now? If so what? I don't have a short term plan, a long term plan...I have ideas but maybe that isn't enough. 

I need to get my life together. I need to make a list of all the lists I need to make and then make them...

Motivation, please come back!

-85 Days Until Baby

88 & 87 Days Until Baby

The days are far from flying by. In fact I have been in somewhat of a funk for maybe 3 or 4 days now. I am not quite sure what it is, probably just restlessness but I am just kind of blah.

So right now my schedule is far from exciting. I spend a lot of time on the computer or watching TV. The past few days I just don't feel like it. That's not that surprising though, obviously anyone would get bored of that after a while but I don't feel like doing anything else either. Our library was having a big booksale the other day and I bought a few books. I have been trying to read the same book and even though it seems interesting after like 4 pages I put it down.  I'm already bored with writing this post!

I think I might feel better soon though, I finally got a new phone. It is nothing too fancy, but it is nice. I like it. My old phone wasn't getting service so I hadn't talked to any of my friends in a while. Reconnecting will definitely help as far as sanity goes!

I also have a few projects to keep me busy. I have to finish my registry ASAP as shower invites are going out soon. I have decided to plant some flowers in front of my house so I have to research and pick out and plant and all of that stuff. It was also decided that instead of sharing a room with the baby I will have the room across the hall and she will have the one I am in now. This means I have to put both rooms together and make them homey and liveable. 

Tomorrow my big project will be washing my dirty Jeep. Hopefully it will be nice out and I can work on my tan as well :)

Tomorrow is definitely going to be a better day. I've decided, so it's official!

-87 Days Until Baby